K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
