I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
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my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
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I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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