you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
