any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you inspire me to be a worse person
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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