Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize