On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
