i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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