How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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