Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
