Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
