That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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