I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
