He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
