What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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