Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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