called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
