Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
