spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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