One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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