Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
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Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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