thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
