i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
