i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
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she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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