ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it was like eating out sand paper
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
