By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
