Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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