My pussy is not your playground.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
