Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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