this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
