wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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