the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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