I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
