We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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