I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
