Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize