Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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