I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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