And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
