He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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