GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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