everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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