well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
