sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
