guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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