I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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