Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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