i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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