Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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