I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
