Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I need to align my fucking chakras
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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