You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
