I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
