Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
