yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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