we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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