I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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