i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
