that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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