Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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