I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
