Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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