Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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