handjob tips. give me some.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
