yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
