Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
