If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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