don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
ttyl tear gas
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize