Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
