Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if only i could text you this smell
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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