I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
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Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we're so committed to being not committed
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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