i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sext me about skeletons
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
